Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
