I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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