$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
