how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize