It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
