I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
