I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
