Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
