are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My hand turned me down
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
