Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
