I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my shit smells like andre
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
