the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
