Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
