i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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