Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
