ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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