At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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