So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
