Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
