you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
