Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
