Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
