this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize