WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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