Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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