man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
