all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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