Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
