So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
