Can Purell be used as lube?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
