So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
