We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
