am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
