Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize