you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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