anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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