Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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