New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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