sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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