It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
