Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
