i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
