Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
