I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
we're so committed to being not committed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize