and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can vaginas get frostbite?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
