what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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