You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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