Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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