in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
