1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what day is it and did you see me today?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
