she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
