I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize