I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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