ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
