It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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