How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
