Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize