my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize