if you like me you must not know who I am
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
