She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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