What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
