I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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